The Mother of Columbine Shooter Dylan Klebold Became an Advocate for Mental Health Awareness

On April 20, 1999, two students opened fire in Columbine High School in Columbine, Colo., killing 12 people and injuring 21 others. This was not the first school shooting in America, but it would become one of the more infamous. As of April 2023, The Washington Post reported that over "377 school shootings have taken place since Columbine." Despite the fact that school shootings are almost commonplace nowadays, Columbine is usually the first story one tells when addressing this issue.

The gruesome way the media dealt with this event undoubtedly burned it into the minds of anyone old enough to remember. Not only were they grabbing fleeing students to try and get interviews, but they created a false narrative around who the shooters really were. Eric Harris was actually quite outgoing and Dylan Klebold was shy. Strangely, Harris's parents stayed hidden while Klebold's did not. What happened to Dylan Klebold's parents? Here's what we know.

Five years after the shooting, the Klebolds spoke with David Brooks for The New York Times. In April 2001, both the Harris and Klebold families settled various lawsuits from the families of victims, to the tune of $2.53 million. Tom and Sue Klebold said they were happy with the outcome, but they were probably just relieved that part was over. Three years later they spoke directly to the press for the first time since the shooting and the lawsuits.

In the aftermath of the shootings, the Klebolds' lawyer told them that because Dylan was gone (both Dylan and Eric killed themselves on the day of the shooting), they would be the targets of hate and rage. They accepted that but Sue was certain of one thing: "Dylan did not do this because of the way he was raised,'' she said. ''He did it in contradiction to the way he was raised." These are two intelligent, kind people who were devastated by what their son did. In an effort to understand him, they frame it as a suicide. They did their best but their best wasn't good enough.

While speaking with Barbara Walters in 2016 (via The Denver Post), Sue revealed that she and Tom were divorced. Like many couples who lose a child, grief became the third person in their marriage. Clearly this was not your typical period of mourning. Dylan was gone and he took several people with him. All of it was simply too much for them to bear as a unit.

Sue went on to write a book titled A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy. It was a New York Times bestseller, and helped push her into a new direction. She began traveling the country as a mental health advocate, where she shares her "message about her experience before and after the Columbine High School shootings," said WBAY.

In September 2022, Sue visited the Oshkosh Boys and Girls Club in Oshkosh, Wisc., and spoke with students, educators, and members of their organization. Her presentation addresses depression in children and urges people to pay attention to the signs of mental illness. Sue herself has admitted to missing Dylan's signs. To do this, Sue had to take a deep dive into the life of her own son.

Karlene Grabner, executive director of the Women’s Fund (which collaborated with the Boys and Girls Club for the event), told the outlet that Sue has "spent 15, 16 years before she went public dissecting information, journals, his entries, her entries, talking to the victims, all of that, to try to understand the whole process so hopefully we can get some information as parents on how to do our jobs better." For her, she realized far too late that the way she was communicating with her son was not the way he needed to be communicated with.

Not much is mentioned of Tom Klebold. After the shootings, he and Sue issued a statement saying that they had no explanation for what Dylan did. "Our grief and sorrow for the victims continues to be overwhelming," they wrote, per The Denver Post. "We are deeply grateful to all members of the community who have offered their prayers, their compassion and their support."

When you can't get any answers from the past, the best you can do is look to the future. Sue didn't want a repeat of that day. Sadly, versions of it continue all over the United States. She keeps the focus of her talks on mental health and urges people to talk to each other. Just talk.